The Countdown to 43

The countdown is on! 13 days until I board a plane bound for my next new country.

Lately I've been feeling a tad burned out. I can feel the continual stress building up of being in a management role all day at work, then being in the mom management role as soon as I leave the hospital. It's a lot to manage staff all day, despite them being a fantastic group of healthcare providers, and then come home to manage my army of 1 (who sometimes rivals my work crew of 30+). It quickly takes its toll on me when I feel like I'm "on" 24/7, save for my 30 minute commute to and from work. (My God do I love those precious moments with Pepper and Dylan and my piping hot, freshly poured morning coffee.) Whether I'm at work or I'm at home it's so easy to become overstimulated from the constant noise, yelling, crying, questions, and demands that being a nurse manager and a single mom carry with it. There are times when I don't know how to bring my stress back down to a workable level and I can feel overwhelmed with everything. And there are more times than I care to share that I feel like I want to cry. But you know what, "It's ok to not be ok." It's ok to feel stressed and overwhelmed. It's ok to feel like I don't have my shit together every minute of every day. It's ok that some days I'm running on fumes. It's okay to not be okay. And that's something that I'm actively working hard to remember.

... but I digress... back to travel.

My last proper out-of-country vacation was last May - 8 months ago. For me, that's an exceedingly long time to go without a vacation. I mean, sure, there were definitely the odd long weekends spent in the mountains or out vanning, and even recently out to Manitoba; but while vanlife in the mountains really is amazing (currently chipping away at a blog post about that) let's be honest here - long road trips with a toddler is not exactly paradise. We had our fair share of tantrums, screaming matches, exasperated sighs and rolls of the eyes. As much as I love my daughter, dear Lord that had me in tears a few times.

Now, as for this next adventure, there's going to be some intentional goals of bringing myself back down again. M is going off on her own adventure with Grandma and Grandpa, while we set off on our own intentional trip a little further south than she'll be heading.

Country # 43 is coming up!

We're off to re-live and re-ignite a little bit of our youth with some good old fashioned backpacking. We'll soon be in search of hostels, beaches, music, nightlife, and a crazy adventure set to the backdrop of jungles, mountains, and Caribbean beaches. And it's with perfect timing too, since I've just started back up in the classroom to brush up en mi espanol.

Any guesses on where we're travelling?!?

Slowly but surely we're ticking things off our to-do list.

1. Flights are booked (and we got an amazing deal!)

2. We're topped up on vaccinations

3. First night accommodation is booked .... Now all that's left to do is pack up my bag
   

4. Oh, and I still have to snap a few extra passport photos too... just in case. (If there's one thing I've learned (no wait, 2 things), it's that you must always bring mini drink umbrellas, and you must always plan for the worst case scenario. I've already known 2 people who have had their passports lost and destroyed by a Haitian earthquake, leaving them stuck in the country, sans passports, for way too many months. I have no desire to make that situation any worse should the unthinkable happen to me, so it's better to be over-prepared. And the mini drink umbrellas, well, you just never know when you might need an umbrella drink)

For this trip we're going to attempt carry-on only, which, sure, I've easily done for a weekend trip locally, but what about 2 weeks in a country where the climate vastly differs from region to region? This might take some pre-flight trial runs. But, I've got a 40L bag and some new vacuum seal bags, so I should be able to make it work.

And, as my psychologist emphasized, the most important thing about this trip - I'm not going to feel guilty about going. It's so important to fill our own cups to allow us to function anywhere near like a human. Like I've said before, you need to take care of yourself if you're going to have any hope of caring for others. My daughter is my world, but that doesn't mean I don't need a break from time to time. Mental health and the importance of maintaining your own personal mental health is something I'm very passionate about. We have to take these moments for ourself and remember that we're still our own person with our own hopes, dreams, goals, interests, and hobbies.

And when opportunity presents itself, you take it! (... And then profusely thank Grandma and Grandpa!!)

So, in 13 days we're off!

The countdown is on!